If you have never been in any of these positions, good for you! I can honestly say I have been of all 3; the cheater, the cheatee and a participant. I’m not proud of any of it, but I think it’s a topic that most people can relate to. I don’t ever feel like it shouldn’t have never happened because all experiences are to be learned from. Would I ever do it again; be a cheater or participant? Probably not, or I hope not to be; I would definitely think twice and a few more times after. I definitely don’t ever want to be cheated on again.
The Cheater. Yes I have cheated. I admit that. I’m not perfect. I don’t really have the best excuses for it, but it always let me know that I was not happy in that relationship. It acted as a wakeup call, like why am I seeking attention and love from someone else? There has to be something wrong in my current relationship for me to cheat. It doesn’t make it any right to do it, and I should have probably communicated my feelings to that person then to cheat. But hey, I know what to do now! Communication is key, so talk before you cheat. Express those feelings first! Yes!
The Cheatee. Yes I have been cheated on. Not the best feeling. I don’t believe in second chances, and once they cheat that’s it. It’s an obvious reason that I’m not enough for them. I’m sorry, you should have kept your dick in your pants!
The Participant. This was a one time experience. I didn’t know I was the participant at first. I didn’t know he had a girlfriend until it was too late. I became the participant because I continued to see him. I think we had like a 6 month run, and maybe once or twice did I ever get mad that he didn’t leave her for me. Honestly, he made me feel like the only person in the world when we were together. I was happy. I was with him everyday after work and everyday we spent the night together. It was only once a week when he saw her. I think that’s why I stayed with him. It was probably one of the most happiest times of my life. Crazy how that is huh? I never did see a future with him; I was just in the moment all the time. I was working 3 jobs and finishing up my bachelors, so he was my fun and my release from responsibilities.
I am still surprised on how much I still believe in love after all this. Now that I’m older, I know better. I’ve learned, and I plan on never making these mistakes again.