I thank You for this day. I praise You and worship You, Lord. I love You, Father God. You have blessed my life in more ways than one. I just lift You up, the Lord of lords and the King of kings. You amaze me, Your ways, Your love, the Lover of my Soul and my everything. I thank You for doing a work in me, in my heart, in my soul. Every day I am new, every day I have a chance to be more like Jesus. Thank You for your grace, mercy, and forgiveness. Please forgive me of my sins that I may not be aware of and bring those into the light so that I can change. You created me and knew me way before I was even formed. The plans You have on my life is all for You, to glorify You, and give You thanks! Father God, I pray and ask for strength and patience in things that I cannot control. I pray for boldness and fearlessness in all that I do. I thank You for saving me, leaving the 99 to find the one. I just give You thanks today. I love You, Father! In Jesus’ name. Amen!
‘The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?’
Follow your heart, they said. I think not. Instead, lead your heart because the heart is deceitful. Recently I was deceived by a dream. I dreamt a relationship with someone who I had never thought about, so it got me thinking could it be a possibility? My mind opened up to thoughts that should have never been opened in the first place. I found myself wanting to text him or waiting for his. My heart was telling me to chase him, but God was telling me “No! Don’t do it! He has to pursue!” Have I learned nothing from my past? Have I learned nothing from all the books I’ve been reading and the videos I’ve been listening to?
‘He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord .’
Get that scripture in your head, Justine. HE who FINDS. He has to find ME. It’s a GOOD thing, ya’ll! In the past, I’ve always been quick to let a guy know I like him. In other words, shooting my shot was natural to me. But, I’m shooting no shots anymore!
If you want me as a wife, you better pursue me.
I’ve always been ok with doing things alone. I like going to the movies alone, I like going to restaurants alone, I have no problem doing things alone, and sometimes I even prefer it. I’ve been looking at $3+million dollar homes, checking out Porsche’s, have dates planned with myself on my calendar for this month. I really want to live out this single life to the fullest. So that way I know when I finally have that somebody next to me that I can appreciate it so much more. Everything is a blessing especially this single season where I can take the time to really get to know me, and figure out things before I get into a relationship. I can’t deny that sometimes I wonder when and actually it has been on my mind a lot recently. I am turning 31 in about 6 days and the holidays are here, so I’m feeling a little weary about when this guy is going to show up in my life haha. But, I have faith that he will show up.
People say I’m picky, but here is my “list”! In my opinion it doesn’t look too bad, so I don’t know what people are talking about haha. My future husband definitely has to be a Man of God, Jesus Lover, Christ follower; there is no exceptions with that. I also want him to be a leader, either he is one, working on being one, or willing to be one. I know that I would want him to lead me, lead our children, and even lead other men. He has to be a great communicator; emotionally, mentally, and physically. Communication is key for every successful relationship. I want him to be honest and transparent because again it falls into being a great communicator. He also has to be funny because I love to laugh. Last but not least, my future husband has to be handsome. I have to be attracted to him of course.
I wrote some things in the negotiables side, but I couldn’t really think of much to put because I know my non-negotiables. Everything else falls onto the right side of the list. Actually, I really hope he is tall between 5’8″ to 6’3″ even though I’m already short. I hope that he exercises; he doesn’t have to be a body builder or anything, but he values his health. I want someone to love food and has an open mind about trying new foods. I love to cook and bake, so I hope he is willing to be my taste tester. I hope he loves to travel because I love exploring new places and culture.
So if you are reading this and you know someone who fits this list, leave a comment! Haha I am kidding, not really.. Till next time.
I asked God to keep me hidden while I take a year to heal from my past, figure out my calling, and to start living out my purpose. Well God, you definitely are doing that for me. However, today I wish I wasn’t hidden. I sat in the pews of my church wishing I was finally there. I looked at the couple sitting in front of me with their new baby boy and wished I could be there.
I asked Him in a whisper, “when God, when will it be my turn?“
I stopped idolizing marriage, started loving my single season, started healing, started figuring out Justine, beginning to get out of my comfort zone, focusing on my relationship with God, and I appreciate every bit of it, but today was different. I felt loneliness creep in while I sat by myself at church, which is often, even though I’m surrounded by so many. How could I feel lonely? I started looking around for that single guy sitting alone too. Hey look at me, I’m sitting alone also. Maybe he’s the one. God tell him I’m the one. Very silly I know, but today was just one of those days. God knows when I’ll be ready, even I know I’m not prepared just yet.