I thank You for this day. I praise You and worship You, Lord. I love You, Father God. You have blessed my life in more ways than one. I just lift You up, the Lord of lords and the King of kings. You amaze me, Your ways, Your love, the Lover of my Soul and my everything. I thank You for doing a work in me, in my heart, in my soul. Every day I am new, every day I have a chance to be more like Jesus. Thank You for your grace, mercy, and forgiveness. Please forgive me of my sins that I may not be aware of and bring those into the light so that I can change. You created me and knew me way before I was even formed. The plans You have on my life is all for You, to glorify You, and give You thanks! Father God, I pray and ask for strength and patience in things that I cannot control. I pray for boldness and fearlessness in all that I do. I thank You for saving me, leaving the 99 to find the one. I just give You thanks today. I love You, Father! In Jesus’ name. Amen!
‘The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?’
Follow your heart, they said. I think not. Instead, lead your heart because the heart is deceitful. Recently I was deceived by a dream. I dreamt a relationship with someone who I had never thought about, so it got me thinking could it be a possibility? My mind opened up to thoughts that should have never been opened in the first place. I found myself wanting to text him or waiting for his. My heart was telling me to chase him, but God was telling me “No! Don’t do it! He has to pursue!” Have I learned nothing from my past? Have I learned nothing from all the books I’ve been reading and the videos I’ve been listening to?
‘He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord .’
Get that scripture in your head, Justine. HE who FINDS. He has to find ME. It’s a GOOD thing, ya’ll! In the past, I’ve always been quick to let a guy know I like him. In other words, shooting my shot was natural to me. But, I’m shooting no shots anymore!
If you want me as a wife, you better pursue me.
I’ve always been ok with doing things alone. I like going to the movies alone, I like going to restaurants alone, I have no problem doing things alone, and sometimes I even prefer it. I’ve been looking at $3+million dollar homes, checking out Porsche’s, have dates planned with myself on my calendar for this month. I really want to live out this single life to the fullest. So that way I know when I finally have that somebody next to me that I can appreciate it so much more. Everything is a blessing especially this single season where I can take the time to really get to know me, and figure out things before I get into a relationship. I can’t deny that sometimes I wonder when and actually it has been on my mind a lot recently. I am turning 31 in about 6 days and the holidays are here, so I’m feeling a little weary about when this guy is going to show up in my life haha. But, I have faith that he will show up.
People say I’m picky, but here is my “list”! In my opinion it doesn’t look too bad, so I don’t know what people are talking about haha. My future husband definitely has to be a Man of God, Jesus Lover, Christ follower; there is no exceptions with that. I also want him to be a leader, either he is one, working on being one, or willing to be one. I know that I would want him to lead me, lead our children, and even lead other men. He has to be a great communicator; emotionally, mentally, and physically. Communication is key for every successful relationship. I want him to be honest and transparent because again it falls into being a great communicator. He also has to be funny because I love to laugh. Last but not least, my future husband has to be handsome. I have to be attracted to him of course.
I wrote some things in the negotiables side, but I couldn’t really think of much to put because I know my non-negotiables. Everything else falls onto the right side of the list. Actually, I really hope he is tall between 5’8″ to 6’3″ even though I’m already short. I hope that he exercises; he doesn’t have to be a body builder or anything, but he values his health. I want someone to love food and has an open mind about trying new foods. I love to cook and bake, so I hope he is willing to be my taste tester. I hope he loves to travel because I love exploring new places and culture.
So if you are reading this and you know someone who fits this list, leave a comment! Haha I am kidding, not really.. Till next time.
I asked God to keep me hidden while I take a year to heal from my past, figure out my calling, and to start living out my purpose. Well God, you definitely are doing that for me. However, today I wish I wasn’t hidden. I sat in the pews of my church wishing I was finally there. I looked at the couple sitting in front of me with their new baby boy and wished I could be there.
I asked Him in a whisper, “when God, when will it be my turn?“
I stopped idolizing marriage, started loving my single season, started healing, started figuring out Justine, beginning to get out of my comfort zone, focusing on my relationship with God, and I appreciate every bit of it, but today was different. I felt loneliness creep in while I sat by myself at church, which is often, even though I’m surrounded by so many. How could I feel lonely? I started looking around for that single guy sitting alone too. Hey look at me, I’m sitting alone also. Maybe he’s the one. God tell him I’m the one. Very silly I know, but today was just one of those days. God knows when I’ll be ready, even I know I’m not prepared just yet.
I get asked this question more often than not, and I get why they ask. I’m turning 31 soon, and I’m not married or have any kids at all. It’s not hard for me to get a date, and it probably wouldn’t be that hard to pick one and have a boyfriend. I got people sliding in my DM’s, so I know I’m not ugly. Haha! People say all types of things to me about my singleness, and I’m pretty sure I’ve heard everything.
“You’re so pretty and perfect, why aren’t you off the market?”
“You must be crazy!”
“Stop being picky, you’re never going to find anyone!”
“You’re getting old.”
“Don’t you want babies?”
“He might be atheist, but he could be a good guy.”
So why am I still single? Hmm… Because I CHOOSE to be and I AM picky! What they don’t understand or see is the value and vision of what love and marriage really mean to me. My definition of love and marriage is God! He is the center of my life and He will be the center of my future marriage. I feel like there is no other way to explain it unless you understand it for yourself. I do get tired. I get tired of explaining to people why I’m still single like I have to justify it. Some just won’t understand and that is ok. I just learned to stop getting frustrated about it. I read marriage and relationship books, hear stories from married folk, and learn scriptures of what a wife and mother signify. I’ve gained a lot of knowledge around relationships, and it isn’t a walk in the park. Love and marriage is a responsibility, commitment, and lots of hard work. I’m only willing to step into a relationship that is sent by God. I’ve done relationships so wrong in the past that I’m going to wait patiently this time for the man of God, my future husband, that God blesses me with.
He who finds a wife finds a good thing,
And obtains favor from the Lord.
I want the full blessing from God. I don’t want to prevent His blessings upon my life because I was in a hurry to do it my way. If it’s not from God, then I don’t want it!
I am not talking about my “first time”. I am talking about my first “saved-Christian” relationship, which really means the first relationship I had after I was saved. It definitely wasn’t a Christian relationship, but just two Christians in a relationship. You get what I’m saying? I was enjoying life, seeking after God hard, I was hungry and thirsty to get to know Jesus and to build this relationship with Him. I was feeling brand new and a whole new person. It was only a little over a year that I had been in my walk with God when I had met this guy. I honestly thought I had it under control, I felt that I was not going to go back to my old ways, and I was going to do it right this time. I spoke out about my values and me waiting till marriage, but it wasn’t long till I fell short. It’s not as easy to hold those values in place when you’re new in your walk, you think God had sent him, and you aren’t in the same mindset as that person. But things happen and I’m not perfect, but I have learned so much from it. If anything it has brought me closer to God. I realized after doing the 14-day Husband Fast, that I was not in a place to be in another relationship yet and this is my season to be single. I don’t ever want to stray away from God again as I did. In this season of singleness, I’m focusing on knowing God more, knowing Justine more, finding my passion, walking in the fullness of my purpose, becoming the woman of God, and to prepare and position myself for when that time comes to meet my future husband.
My name is Justine, and I am now 30 years old. I started this blog about two years ago to write down all my dating adventures and experiences of trying to find love. I didn’t know I would find true love through Jesus Christ during this journey. It was so unexpected as they say “when you least expect it”, and THANK YOU, GOD! My life has completely changed, and it has been a sweet struggle to learn who I am in Christ and to learn how to date differently than my way, but instead God’s way. The journey has not always been easy, but I have found peace, joy, and love through Jesus. I can’t wait to share my love and life with a man of God who is after God’s own heart just as I am. Follow me as I continue to become the woman of God I was always meant to be and to eventually be found by the ONE God blesses me with. In Jesus’ name! Amen!
Day 14: Ordered Steps: Pray that you and your future husband would always be in full surrender to the Lord, allowing Him to order your steps. Pray that you wouldn’t try to jump ahead of His plans. Trust and believe God prepares you for the desires of your heart!
Scriptures: Proverbs 16:9, Isaiah 64:8, Psalm 37:23-24
Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you your heart’s desires.
Father God, I just want to thank you for connecting me with a group of women during this fast and for all the ladies that have shared. This fast has been very eye-opening in terms that marriage is a commitment and covenant to You and my future husband. It is a relationship between three people; You, myself and my future husband. Father God, I pray that my future husband and I will obey and surrender to You. I pray that You lead us every step of the way and that Your will, will be done in our lives and we will not jump ahead of Your plans. I fully trust and believe in you, Lord, that you will bless me with the desires of my heart! Thank you, Jesus! In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen!
Activation: Ask God what this season looks like for you. Ask Him if you are ready to date.
God is telling me that I need to be single in this season and that I am not quite ready to date. I still have a lot of healing to do from my recent relationship. I need to focus on some of my goals and just loving me. God knows that there’s so much more for me to do as a single and that I do not need to rush getting into a relationship. Even when I feel like I am getting “old”, I have so much faith that God will give me everything I want in a husband when the time is right. I don’t want to settle for anything less than what God wants for me.
Day 13: Self-value and worth: Pray that you’ll always see yourself through the same lens Jesus does towards you. Pray that you will agree with every truth He has spoken over you and how He’s created you to be.
Scriptures: Mark 4:20, 1 Peter 3:3-4, Genesis 1:26, Psalm 139:14
You are altogether beautiful, my darling,
beautiful in every way.
-Song of Solomon 4:7
Father God, thank you for creating me exactly the way that I am. I was made in the image and likeness of You, Father God. I pray that I will always see myself through the same lens as Jesus does. I pray that I will agree and speak the truth on myself of how You created me to be. Father, even on those days I feel worthless and ugly, please let me remember that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Thank you, Jesus! In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen!
Activation: Choose 3 personality traits you love about yourself!
I love that I am funny, adventurous, and loving. These are strengths because people love to laugh, adventurous makes you fun, and loving makes you a good person.